Interview an Elder

Overview

Every older person in your child's life carries decades of stories, lessons, and hard-won wisdom. This field plan structures a visit with a grandparent, great-aunt, neighbor, or community elder as a real interview — with prepared questions, active listening, and a record of what was shared. It teaches children that some of the most important knowledge in the world is not written in books. It lives in people.

Location Requirements

Wherever the elder is most comfortable: their home, your home, a favorite park bench, or a quiet corner of a senior center or community space. The setting should be calm, relatively quiet, and a place where conversation flows naturally. Avoid restaurants or noisy environments.

Pre-Trip Preparation

Choose the elder. This could be a grandparent, great-grandparent, elderly neighbor, family friend, or community figure. The important thing is that this person has a relationship with your child (even a slight one) and is willing and able to be interviewed. Call ahead and explain what you are doing — most elders are deeply honored by the request.

Prepare the questions. Sit with your child and choose 5-8 questions from the list below (or write your own). Write them in your child's notebook in large, readable print. Practice reading them aloud.

Interview Question Bank:

About Their Childhood:

• "What was your favorite thing to do when you were my age?"
• "What was school like when you were a kid?"
• "What toys did you play with?"
• "What did your family eat for dinner?"

About Hard Times:

• "What is the hardest thing you have ever done?"
• "Did you ever fail at something and try again?"
• "What scared you when you were young?"

About Wisdom:

• "What is the most important thing you have learned in your life?"
• "What advice would you give to a kid my age?"
• "What do you wish someone had told you when you were young?"
• "What are you most proud of?"

About the World:

• "What is the biggest change you have seen in the world?"
• "What do you miss about the old days?"
• "What is better now than when you were young?"

Prepare the gift. Your child makes or chooses a small gift to bring. A handmade card, a drawing, a plate of cookies — something that shows respect and gratitude. Discuss why: "When someone gives you their time and stories, we say thank you."

Practice interview skills. Role-play briefly. You pretend to be the elder, your child asks questions. Coach three things:

1. Look at the person when they talk
2. Do not interrupt — wait for them to finish
3. If you want to know more, say "Can you tell me more about that?"

Field Schedule

Arrival and Greeting (10 minutes)

Your child greets the elder, gives the gift, and makes small talk. This is social skills practice. Coach beforehand if needed: "How are you?" "Thank you for talking to me." "I have been excited about this."

The Interview (20-30 minutes)

Your child asks the prepared questions, one at a time. They listen to the full answer before moving to the next question. You can gently prompt if your child freezes ("Do you want to ask the next question on your list?"), but try to stay in the background.

Take notes or record (with permission). If your child can write, they jot down key words or phrases. If not, you take notes they can reference later.

Let the conversation wander. If the elder starts telling a story that was not on the question list, that is often the best part. Do not redirect them back to the script.

Free Conversation (10-15 minutes)

After the formal questions, let the conversation become natural. The elder may want to ask your child questions. They may want to show old photos, objects, or memorabilia. This unstructured time often produces the deepest connections.

Closing and Thank You (5 minutes)

Your child thanks the elder specifically: "Thank you for telling me about [specific story]. I really liked hearing about that." Specific thanks is more meaningful than generic thanks.

Observation Guide

Watch for:

• Listening quality: Is your child genuinely engaged or just waiting for their turn to talk? Real listening shows in follow-up questions and body language.
• Emotional responses: Does your child react to the stories? Surprise, laughter, empathy, awe — these are signs of connection.
• Question improvisation: Does your child ask a question that was not on the list, prompted by something the elder said? This is advanced conversational skill.
• Comfort with silence: Can your child sit quietly while the elder gathers their thoughts? This is rare at any age and worth celebrating.

Post-Trip Processing

Immediate debrief (in the car or at home, 10 minutes):

• "What was your favorite story they told?"
• "Did anything surprise you?"
• "What is one thing they said that you want to remember forever?"

Create a record (20-30 minutes, can be a separate session): Choose one or more:

• Write a one-page summary of the interview in the child's own words
• Draw a picture of the elder telling their favorite story
• Record a voice memo of the child retelling the most important thing they learned
• Add a page to a "Family Wisdom Book" that grows over time

Write a thank-you note. Your child writes (or dictates) a thank-you note to the elder within a day of the visit. Include one specific thing they learned or enjoyed. Mail it or deliver it in person.

Weather & Season Notes

This activity works in any season. If the elder has limited mobility, visit them at their home. Holidays and family gatherings are natural times for this, but a standalone visit is more intimate and focused.

Safety Notes

No special safety concerns. If the elder has cognitive challenges (memory loss, confusion), prepare your child gently: "Grandpa might not remember everything perfectly, and that is okay. We are there to listen and be with him." If the conversation touches on heavy topics (war, loss, hardship), follow up with your child afterward to process what they heard.